Interpretive FizzBuzz experiment brings the myth of Perl as line noise to life

I have a feeling this won't necessarily improve Perl's reputation, but I was inspired by Non-Alphanumeric Ruby for Fun and Not Much Else. For reference, here is the Rosetta Code page for FizzBuzz.

#!/usr/bin/env perl

use feature 'say';
use strict;
use warnings;

sub __ { join '' => map chr, @_ }

$; = ($$ + $$ + $$) / $$;
$= = ($; + $;) - $$ / $$;

$: = __(
    $= * $= * $; - $=,
    $= * $= * $= - ($; + $$ / $$) * $=,
    $= * $= * $= - $;,
    $= * $= * $= - $;,
);

$^ = __(
    ($; + $;) * ($= + $= + $$ / $$),
    ($; * $;) * ($= + $= + $;),
    $= * $= * $= - $;,
    $= * $= * $= - $;,
);


sub {
    say
        sub {$_[$_ % $_] % $; == ($; != $;) && $:}->($_) .
        sub {$_[$_ - $_] % $= == ($= != $=) && $^}->($_) ||
        $_
    for @_
}->(($$ / $$) .. ($= + $=) * ($= + $=));